Zoe Catherine Kendall, artist, writer and human...

Monday, 31 May 2010

Where are we at? Sometimes i find myself pondering...

..how our urges may separate us

and yet
the thought of him made my pussy warm.

I guess what i am trying to say is that in many senses i have turned a lot of my fantasies into realities, and now i’m just playing catch up with myself.
But for a moment, let us ponder art school surrealism..
..fuck art school surrealism, I propose art school realism! Gosh, don’t those subtly evocative boots have a good sole on them, why they’ll cycle you all the way to work and back!
Oh and, how are your paintings coming along my dear?

Well then
do ask yourself, how is your ART-WORK-LIFE going these days? 

One might say with creativity in every step!

Tuesday, 25 May 2010

On acid: Hallucigens aid my discovery of what it is to 'be'...

Everybody loves acid, don't they? It's one of those drugs that you've either tried yourself and regaled your friends with ridiculous, often unbelievable stories of, or that you've been on the receiving end of said stories about its so called powers of enlightenment. In my experience, your state of mind at the time is the biggest influencing factor on your trip. I'd like to think my state of mind at the moment is pretty sound, and hence, after a totally mental time under the influence of the aforementioned psychotropic substance, I made some pretty fundamental discoveries. It was dark at times, but most of all, it was bang on...

My Discoveries were as follows...


A vessel, the body as a receptacle to bottle life as it passes by, fragments of a storm
crystalised in time and space, furious moments suspended between us, I and you, the
world we are wired to, weaning from the earth as newborns seeing afresh the old ways
of our parents, preparing our frontiers for a battle won, softening the blows that came,
that could come, relearning new habits, reworking ourselves into a future of rebirth, a
destination to complete the cyclical nature of being, the incidence of creation, mothered
by and then mothering, as if to attend to a shared concept of energy, we, the brothers
and sisters, the lovers and loners, and those voyaging between spheres of otherness,
rediscovering in themselves a place we can all call home, more of a feeling then a firm
location, nestling, residing, resounding within.


Sensory filters, funnels of palette-able experience, the olbas oil feels green, tastes heady,
washes me out, cutting to my core channels, passing right through those veins and
airways i house myself within and opening me, oiling me, easing my passage out of here
into here again, here and there, where i find myself, both lost and found, salvaged and
sailed, adrift an ocean of time and place, sound and sight, pinpointed in thought for
some small eternity, which, now passing has not yet begun and is beginning to fade out,
but it is there, between the pages of a closed book, located in the underside of a object
you may wish to nominate, or in all of nature, another portal of awareness with which
one can understand all and nothing, the crystal image.

Saturday, 22 May 2010

The play of things

Playful as ever, things in life happen with about as much meaning as this projected net curtain on my lounge wall. It's there, it's gone, it's there again... and you can't predict its course, so just bask in it when it's there to be basked in. Simple.

Saturday, 15 May 2010

Your niave gaze for my eyes which cannot see.. inform me.

ZCK - 12/5/10 – 13.46pm
Events which facilitate redemption
I propose that certain key ‘events’ in life can trigger similarly significant inner events, whose inner direction is aligned with the details of the key contextual event set in the external world (e.g. My lover left me and i realised i need to overcome the severance of a connection with my parents). The arising inner event has the potential to encourage and promote a greater depth to inward perception, thus allowing for a sort of self-illumination and facilitation. .. a redemption through the repetition of a pattern in both external and internal worlds. Through noticing this reoccurring pattern, one is in an improved position to figure out the mysteries of its equation, and finally, through revisiting and resolving it, one is liberated...
My housemate pointed out that this is a fundamentally Christian belief - suffering induces freedom and enlightment, carving us out. The lovely postcard to the left, which i have doddled and scrawled on, is by giulia resteghini, whose lithographs explore her fascination with dreams, and the heightened perceptions they bring...

Tuesday, 11 May 2010

Feeling as though something is missing again? Interweaved with the progress of loss..

Feeling as though something is missing again? Is that 
ever so slightly excited sensation hiding at the back of 
your mind? Got the impression that you are waiting for 
something, something that is currently lacking, but for 
which you are fervently hopeful..?

Drop it, beware, don’t expect.

Live, breath, coexist and assert your independence.

If you feel as though you are hopeful for the  
excitement of something not present, it is a pretty
strong indication that you feel something is missing. 
Chances are you are hopeful of love, association and 
intimacy, chances are you have experienced this 
fundamental connection already, sometime before 
now and lost it. Was it with your mother or father? 

It’s possible that at some point in your life, maybe as a
child, you experienced it. But it got lost along the way; 
perhaps through betrayal, broken trust or abandon, 
perhaps through other circumstances. Have you always 
been looking for it since? That’s the lack of it, the 

leftover hole that remains where it once existed 


So now you know why you are constantly hunting down 
that sensation, perhaps you can use this new found 
wisdom to rationalise your thoughts and feelings, and inform your future relationships. 

Don’t look to others for something you lost from a parent. Come to terms with the 

childhood loss. Free yourself. Don’t look for intimacy, let it happen as and when.

Monday, 10 May 2010

Wednesday, 5 May 2010

Journeying through Brussels in between friends

A story in pictures, girl with a camera, follow me as i follow my friends on a journey through Brussels on the hottest weekend of the year so far... discover the streets, markets, parks and shops we would have called our own for those precious moments we spent in each other's company. Through the eyes of a thinking, feeling human being, a street can be so much more than it's mere appearance. These are the places we play out our lives, everyday lives packed full of momentus occassions in thought and action. Never underestimate that journey you take from your house to the bus stop again, this is you living...  ..and you might just find yourself in the merest of walks, if you are open... 

(this is part of what i like to think of as the 'process of living').

Just another pavement on the way to... or is the place we got to know Kamilla?

Another flea market splayed across the playground of Europe... or the place that reminded me of being in Berlin last summer, thinking about relationships as i weaved between cardboard boxes of glasses and plates...

Two people in a park, or a breeding ground of reflective conversation, and a place where we got to know each others' experiences and complexities a little better...

Friends in green spaces, friends ripe from journeying across Brussels on the tram...

Vincent in cap or the great land of dressing up boxes...

...notice the internal landscapes as they're forged within the external world.

Monday, 3 May 2010

Dialogue in my mind with a version of ‘you’

Nothing is free
You make me wet
I love myself
there is an energy about you that attracts
my mind dictates calm
but I am demanding patience from myself
urgency navigates
embracing inspiring new ways of behaving
you are there
I am learning
winking at me
to let things happen as they will
I don’t need you
I am following a path of my own making
you only want me absently
toward a new state of calm.

Sunday, 2 May 2010

Wandering spaceships, we are always alone

This is in a sense true. We are seperated from all other things by our bodies, the place where we reside. Our minds cannot be visited by other minds, nor can we recline fully in another's thoughts. When we know what someone means, we know it through what we know, we know it differently. We cannot really cross the divide into another's being, we cannot really 'be together as one' but rather, two seperate creatures, sharing proximity and notion. This is the unique experience of a human being, being alone amongst others, the mind isolating as it unites.

But many of us are stiving for togetherness and intimacy, many of us are not content with the state of independence with which we live. You know what i mean, like when you have a thought that you think is funny or significant, and immediately, instead of revelling in it just for yourself, you think - i want to share this with... such and such would love this.. i'll just put it on facebook... what is this if is not an attempt to feel less than alone, more together, more intune with another, less isolated within the self. 

But why do we try to draw those connections, what is it we are trying to create or sustain? Is it a grip on the world outside ourselves? Is it a bouy keeping us from drifting far away into our minds...

As an artist i feel i have gotten to grips with this concept of being alone through the necessity for self expression. What could make one feel more isolated then the gulf between their articulation and it's reception? An attempt to connect paired with a refusal to engage. Eventually one may decide that it is ok for their audience to be as conceptual and abstract as the art that they create, but this nevertheless emphasizes the spaces between all creatures. We inhabit one body. We may eventually come to terms with this independence. As Anthony Gormley says, this will be how we learn...

"Our bodies come out of other bodies. In a sense our primary experience is of dwelling within the realm of another. We learn how to listen, how to move, how to attend to the world, within a totally protected realm. Then, at birth, that is taken away from us. We are made into an object that in a sense is separated by space and skin. We are always in a relational field. There are a few moments, maybe in intimate love or moments of total immersion in an immersion tank, where we might recover something of that primal condition. But in the end, we are born alone and we die alone.

In a sense, that is the human condition: that we are lost in space, from the moment that we separate from the body that contained us originally. This could be a tragedy, a kind of existential loss, but I don’t think it is at all. I don’t think of the condition of “aloneness” of the human consciousness as being a limitation. It’s actually the great challenge and inspiration that each of us has. In a way we are spaceships. At that moment of birth we set upon a journey in time and space, and we have to use it as well as we can. " Read more.